Make a Connection

There have been two deaths in our very small town in the last week allegedly caused by drug overdose.  There was another one today a few miles away.  And a friend is posting on Facebook as I type about a possible meth lab bust in the next town over.

We are small town America, but we are not immune.  The epidemic is here.  People are saddened and angry and afraid.  And as much as we want to fix it, no one knows how.  Some random comments I’m reading … and I paraphrase:

• Do nothing … nothing we’ve tried works.
• Arrest or even kill the dealer.
• Cut off the addict and throw him or her into rehab.
• Inundate our children and the general public with more information.
• Pray for the lost souls.

I feel like we are all lost!  No one can give a clear answer to why or how or what to do!  We’re over-critical and under-compassionate and way too quick to judge.

I watched a video today with a completely different message on addiction and a possible “solution”.  And, though I’m very new to this research thing, it’s by far the best I’ve heard.

While I totally agree that one person can drink or drug with little to no lasting effects and the next person cannot because of their genes or neurological or chemical tendencies, I also believe that the major reason a person continues to use or deal goes way beyond that.  But why?

My personal opinion is that people continue to use and abuse alcohol and other drugs because they don’t want to feel whatever pain they are feeling – physical or emotional. They are self-medicating with bad choices making life even worse.  Likely they are not able to bear being present in their own life.  They are bonding with what gives them some temporary relief. 

Understanding why dealers deal is more difficult to understand, but it likely boils down to the same heart issues.  Dealers are not bad people.  Yes, they are doing a bad thing.  But, on various levels, don’t we all?  I believe we are all born sinners.  I also believe we are all born with innate goodness in us.  We just have to find it and to find it, we have to love.  Yes, love.  Wow.  It is hard to find love for a dealer.  It is also hard to love an addict – trust me on this on this one.  Heck, it’s hard to love anyone, if you think about it.  Love is not an easy verb!

But think about this: “The solution to the problem of addiction on a societal level is both simple and fairly easy to implement. If a person is born into a life that is lacking in love and support on a family level, or if due to some other trauma they have become isolated and suffer from addiction, there must be a cultural response to make sure that person knows that they are valued by their society (even if they don’t feel valued by their family).”     http://upliftconnect.com/opposite-addiction-connection

Simplified, my take on that is this:  If you want to be a part of the solution, stop pointing fingers at what everyone else should be doing and GO … BE … DO it yourself!  Show some love!

Be the spouse, the parent, the child, the friend, the neighbor, the co-worker, the pastor, the acquaintance that LOVES someone that needs loving.  Be prepared - it will cost you!  Love is an investment of YOU … your time, your energy, your empathy, your compassion.  If you have anyone in your life that needs a little extra love … and who doesn’t? … give it away!  Take them dinner, better yet, have them into your home for dinner.  Bring them groceries.  Take them shopping.  Join them for a walk or a workout.  Offer to drive them to an AA or NA meeting and attend with them.  Invite them to a local sporting event or church.  Leave some cookies on their doorstep.  Mail them (real USPS snail mail) an encouraging note.  Browse together at the library or visit a museum.  Enjoy a community activity or a hobby together.  Form a bond.  Help them rediscover a purpose.  LOVE them.  Don’t isolate them.

In the video I was watching earlier, Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong – a TED Talk, Johann Hari says this:  "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety.  The opposite of addiction is connection.”  Go on.  Go make a connection.