Spread Love ... Speak Life

A friend of mine died this week.  I first met her in 2005 when I was a patient and she was a receptionist in my surgeon's office.  We didn't really know each other but I found her laughter and kindness magnetic.  I nearly passed out from pain that day.  She (and their fabulous team of three) showed me great compassion and sat with me until I recovered.  She even offered to drive me home.

A couple of  years later, I found myself speaking to her on a regular basis after I became a receptionist in another physician's office that worked closely with hers.  She was always fun to speak with and very accommodating to work with.

Fast forward to the past few years ... we now have the same office family, and though we worked on different floors of our building, I always looked forward to her silly morning greetings and chatting with her throughout the day.  I can't remember ever seeing her without a smile or angry with anyone. She told the funniest stories and her laugh was so contagious!  

In addition to being a co-worker, she was a good friend.  The conversations we had about some things in my life that others had a difficult time understanding were comforting.  She just knew.

Since her death a few days ago, the comments on social media and those spoken out loud have been nothing less than an outpouring of love.  And it caused me to wonder ...

I wonder how my friend would have felt if she could have heard these things in person.

I wonder if she felt the joy that she gave to others.

I wonder if she would have held her head higher knowing that she was so loved.

I wonder if she would have done anything different in her life if she would have been praised so highly "then" instead of now.

I wonder if she felt as forgiven as she constantly offered her forgiveness.

I wonder if she knew ...

... that she was loved?

... that she was kind and, oh, so compassionate?

... that she glowed with joy?

... that no one could be sad around her?

... that she will be terribly missed?

... and that I am so blessed to have called her my friend.

I never told her these things and I am so sorry that I didn't.  I can only pray that she felt everything that is in my heart and in the hearts of those missing her today.  

I pray also that her family knew just how much she loved them ... with every ounce of her being she loved you ... and she would want you to find joy again and share it with those around you ... to love and to be loved.

I love you, Mary.  I pray I will see your joyful face again one day. In your honor, I will seek harder to spread what love I can and to speak life ... just as you did for me.  Thank you for being my friend.